


And Today

by Poetiicdissonance



Series: Requiem for the Dreamer (Poetry) [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: 12 year old me poetry, Apathy, But The Point Still Stands, Depression, Gen, Mentions of self-harm, Not Good Poetry, Poetry, Self-Loathing, Teen Angst, Well more like preteen angst, okay so maybe more the 13, written in the throws of tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 09:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21455863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetiicdissonance/pseuds/Poetiicdissonance
Summary: Just another poem about sadness.
Relationships: None
Series: Requiem for the Dreamer (Poetry) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/900348
Kudos: 3





	And Today

**Author's Note:**

> So I was cleaning up my bookshelf /reorganizing it, and I found an old notebook. This was one of the few things in it. I figured I might as well post it. It’s the sort of thing a depressed 13 year old writes when they’re upset, and trying to be edgy.

This self loathing is strong.  
Perhaps stronger than I.

They say I am a poet  
And perhaps I am  
Sometimes.

Sometimes the words flow  
Gently cascading along my soul  
And I am a poet in those moments.

Other times  
The sea swallows me up  
Apathy becomes my roommate  
And I lose myself in  
The fight to stay alive

Self loathing batters at the doors  
And apathy passes itself  
Against me, sealing to my bones—  
To my very being.  
And coping takes a new meaning.

When you’re too damn numb  
To feel anything at all  
Not even you can save yourself  
from your own consciousness

But it wrong they say  
Don’t hate yourself  
Don’t hurt yourself  
Just conform to our standards

Some call depression sadness  
Others a wrong hit bearing down  
But I don’t see that  
For me it’s apathy  
And the inability to feel  
Disguised as coping  
(Like my body is trying to protect me).  
And it’s a wave  
Crashing down and drowning you  
In moments  
And today?  
Today I’ve forgotten how to swim.

**Author's Note:**

> The other things in the book: the start to a novel I wanted to write.  
Two quotes I made up when I wanted to be deep.   
“The world is both light enough to guide us, and dark enough o blind us.”
> 
> “Do not try to save me. I am just one more death amping countless others, besides we are in the middle of a war, people die and we must accept it and carry on with our lives.”


End file.
